Going into this Christmas weekend, I had two goals: sleep a lot and write a lot. I've certainly succeeded in the sleep department, but I've failed miserably at writing.
I've been working on this same God forsaken scene for weeks and I'm almost at the point where I think I should just go back to how it was and continue on. Forget the changes. Forget improving the book and just focus on finishing the draft so I can move on to other things.
Except...I can't do that. I can't leave something crappy just because it's hard to fix. Okay, that's actually a lie; I've left lines and paragraphs here and there that I know I need to fix but couldn't figure out how to. But that's a paragraph versus a 3,000 plus word scene. It's a little different.
It's also possible that I haven't been focusing as hard on this as I should have. Accomplished authors always say that the most important thing is to get your butt in the chair and write. To be fair, my butt is almost always in my desk chair, but I am far too easily distracted by the pesky internet. It might be the real reason why I write better at night - there are simply less people posting online to distract me.
The bottom line is I failed this weekend, wasted all this free time I had to write by doing other things. Not that those things were always bad - I spent some time with my family and friends, which was certainly not a waste - but I didn't take advantage of the extra time like I should have. A week ago me thought that this weekend could be not only the weekend where I fix this scene for good, but also the weekend where I complete the 3rd draft. Har har har, past week me. You're a real knee slapper.
Thing I Don't Understand:
1) How I ever accomplished anything in college, much less two degrees, with such a short attention span.
2) The game app Bad Piggies. Let's not even talk about how my little sister figures it out as I sit there in bewilderment.
3) Why my little sister left these sweet tart candy canes here and why I've taken it upon myself to eat all of them.
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Sunday, December 16, 2012
A Post Devoted to What I Don't Understand
There are a lot of things in this country to be worried about, whether it's the fiscal cliff or the sad state of music on the radio, but it wasn't until Friday that I realized something was missing on my list: I now have to be concerned that some psychopath might decide to walk into my sister's elementary school and shoot up her classroom.
The tragedy in Newtown is proof that there is no longer anywhere in this country that you can go and not worry about being shot. People have been shot in hospitals and malls, churches and movie theaters, coffee shops and grocery store parking lots, high schools and now, elementary schools. I just don't understand why this keeps happening.
There's nothing new I can say here that someone hasn't more eloquently said. But having a little sister the same age as the children that died just eats at me. The loss of my little sister would be the loss of everything to me. Just thinking of it is unbearable. I was there when she was born seven years ago, 10:23 on a Tuesday morning. Since that moment she's changed my life completely, in all wonderful ways (though I would appreciate it if she could stop turning my queen size bed into the width of an armrest when she spends the night). I can't imagine life without her smiling face, without the pictures she draws me or the notes that she writes me in her giant handwriting.
That now 26 families have to somehow go on without their children, siblings, or parents is just heartbreaking. And I think at this point, after all the senseless killings we as a country have endured, that we have to make some major changes if we ever hope to go more than a few months without this occurring again.
I'm not naive enough to believe that stricter gun control would mean the end of these shootings, that all guns would magically disappear. The sad truth is when a person intends to do evil, he will find a way no matter the laws in place. But that doesn't mean we should do nothing and cross our fingers that this trend of massacres will end. Stricter gun laws will at the very least decrease the number of people who own guns and thus decrease the likelihood of this occurring again. Other countries, such as Australia, have banned assault weapons and gone more than a decade without a mass shooting. They instituted a buyback program for these weapons, something I don't really see happening here. But it worked.
Even more important than that, though, is the improvements necessary for our mental health system. In this article, I Am Adam Lanza's Mother, a woman talks about her son's illness that often leads to threats of violence. The part that most struck me was when a social worker told her that the only way that her son could get proper help is if he were to be charged with a crime. What sense does that make? That we have to label those with certain mental disorders as criminals in order to justify spending money on treating them?
There's a reason I became a writer, and it's not just because a hermit lifestyle suddenly seems preferable. I can create a town and make sure that everything functions normally, I can control who walks into 1st grade classrooms and who gets a hold of a gun. I can make things terrible for a character all the way through, but then give them the happy ending that everybody needs.
I can't do that for those who lost their children on Friday. I can't fix the plot hole that is our mental healthcare system and solve all the problems. No matter how much I want to.
All I can do is pray. Pray that our government forgets political parties and comes up with a plan. Pray that God be with these families and that town as they grieve and try to go on. Pray that people get the help they need before it's too late.
Pray that this never happens again.
The tragedy in Newtown is proof that there is no longer anywhere in this country that you can go and not worry about being shot. People have been shot in hospitals and malls, churches and movie theaters, coffee shops and grocery store parking lots, high schools and now, elementary schools. I just don't understand why this keeps happening.
There's nothing new I can say here that someone hasn't more eloquently said. But having a little sister the same age as the children that died just eats at me. The loss of my little sister would be the loss of everything to me. Just thinking of it is unbearable. I was there when she was born seven years ago, 10:23 on a Tuesday morning. Since that moment she's changed my life completely, in all wonderful ways (though I would appreciate it if she could stop turning my queen size bed into the width of an armrest when she spends the night). I can't imagine life without her smiling face, without the pictures she draws me or the notes that she writes me in her giant handwriting.
That now 26 families have to somehow go on without their children, siblings, or parents is just heartbreaking. And I think at this point, after all the senseless killings we as a country have endured, that we have to make some major changes if we ever hope to go more than a few months without this occurring again.
I'm not naive enough to believe that stricter gun control would mean the end of these shootings, that all guns would magically disappear. The sad truth is when a person intends to do evil, he will find a way no matter the laws in place. But that doesn't mean we should do nothing and cross our fingers that this trend of massacres will end. Stricter gun laws will at the very least decrease the number of people who own guns and thus decrease the likelihood of this occurring again. Other countries, such as Australia, have banned assault weapons and gone more than a decade without a mass shooting. They instituted a buyback program for these weapons, something I don't really see happening here. But it worked.
Even more important than that, though, is the improvements necessary for our mental health system. In this article, I Am Adam Lanza's Mother, a woman talks about her son's illness that often leads to threats of violence. The part that most struck me was when a social worker told her that the only way that her son could get proper help is if he were to be charged with a crime. What sense does that make? That we have to label those with certain mental disorders as criminals in order to justify spending money on treating them?
There's a reason I became a writer, and it's not just because a hermit lifestyle suddenly seems preferable. I can create a town and make sure that everything functions normally, I can control who walks into 1st grade classrooms and who gets a hold of a gun. I can make things terrible for a character all the way through, but then give them the happy ending that everybody needs.
I can't do that for those who lost their children on Friday. I can't fix the plot hole that is our mental healthcare system and solve all the problems. No matter how much I want to.
All I can do is pray. Pray that our government forgets political parties and comes up with a plan. Pray that God be with these families and that town as they grieve and try to go on. Pray that people get the help they need before it's too late.
Pray that this never happens again.
Monday, December 10, 2012
By Golly, I Think She's Got It
I've officially had a headache for more than 24 hours. I've almost forgotten what it's like to not have a headache, to not be constantly aware of my head and the pings and stabs inside of it. Luckily it's not as bad as it was early today and last night. Now it's like the lingering smoke after fireworks, except there are few a stray sparks shooting out into the sky. It's like the echo of drum, not as loud as the initial smack but still loud enough that you can feel it course through you.
Trying to think of analogies is making it worse. I'll stop.
I'm writing today to talk about this great idea that I had last week that I'm still excited about*. In fact, my excitement is so high that I'm having difficulty completing my revisions for Book 1 or even glancing at the mess that is the beginning of Book 2.
* This feels like the intro to an infomercial. Sadly, there are no special offers for tuning in today.
I am going to write books from the POVs of the other characters in Book 1. I'm going to start this with Alex's enemy, Bethany (though she doesn't factor into the book THAT much, so maybe enemy is the wrong word to use). I'm going to start it either just before a big scene between the two of them or immediately after it, and then go from there in Bethany's perspective. So there will be overlap in the two books, but it won't really matter in this case because the two don't interact after this scene.
I'd kind of like to do it with other characters too, say the love interest or the best friend, or the quirky other friend who doesn't get delved into as much as the others did. It's a way to have sequels without really having sequels, to have he series that so many readers like to have without creating some lame cliffhanger so that people will wait for the next book (lame because this isn't the right genre for that). It's also a cheat for me because I would get to write the characters that I love so much. That's what we call a win-win my friends.
Now I just need to find the focus and time to juggle all of these projects. I particularly need to finish editing Book 1, something I meant to complete over the past weekend but did not do. I'm beginning to wonder if I should not make the change that I've been planning to make, as it has completely stopped me in my tracks. I know challenging myself is a good thing and I should keep at it till I figure it out. I think the book is better off with he change. But by golly it's getting on my nerves!
Okay, that's all for now. I hope this headache is just a one-off and not something that's indicative of an oncoming illness. I'm going to go eat an apple just to be safe.
Trying to think of analogies is making it worse. I'll stop.
I'm writing today to talk about this great idea that I had last week that I'm still excited about*. In fact, my excitement is so high that I'm having difficulty completing my revisions for Book 1 or even glancing at the mess that is the beginning of Book 2.
* This feels like the intro to an infomercial. Sadly, there are no special offers for tuning in today.
I am going to write books from the POVs of the other characters in Book 1. I'm going to start this with Alex's enemy, Bethany (though she doesn't factor into the book THAT much, so maybe enemy is the wrong word to use). I'm going to start it either just before a big scene between the two of them or immediately after it, and then go from there in Bethany's perspective. So there will be overlap in the two books, but it won't really matter in this case because the two don't interact after this scene.
I'd kind of like to do it with other characters too, say the love interest or the best friend, or the quirky other friend who doesn't get delved into as much as the others did. It's a way to have sequels without really having sequels, to have he series that so many readers like to have without creating some lame cliffhanger so that people will wait for the next book (lame because this isn't the right genre for that). It's also a cheat for me because I would get to write the characters that I love so much. That's what we call a win-win my friends.
Now I just need to find the focus and time to juggle all of these projects. I particularly need to finish editing Book 1, something I meant to complete over the past weekend but did not do. I'm beginning to wonder if I should not make the change that I've been planning to make, as it has completely stopped me in my tracks. I know challenging myself is a good thing and I should keep at it till I figure it out. I think the book is better off with he change. But by golly it's getting on my nerves!
Okay, that's all for now. I hope this headache is just a one-off and not something that's indicative of an oncoming illness. I'm going to go eat an apple just to be safe.
Tuesday, December 4, 2012
A Post About Writer's Block
I don't know if it's because I've decided to make this post about writer's block or what, but I am having a terrible time beginning this blog post. Except there, it's begun. Phew, thank God.
You might think that once you get past the first draft of a book that the days of writer's block are over. All you have to do now is tweak, cut, and add pretty words here and there to make yourself sound smart. You might also think that when you get to the third draft of a book that revisions must be really easy; I should just be correcting "form" to "from" and putting commas where they should be and deleting repeated words. Simple stuff.
THAT IS NOT THE CASE AT ALL.
At least, not for me. I decided in a late night haze that I was going to completely rework a few scenes of Book 1, scenes that happen to be integral to the story. I decided this mostly because one scene in particular was feeling really draggy. I had a character explaining something that happened in the past and she was just going on and on. Really, I think if I were to actually be in the room with her that I'd either get up and leave or stare pointedly at my watch.*
* I don't wear a watch, but then I also am unable to transport myself into fiction worlds so really what kind of realism were you expecting you from this?
So it was definitely the right decision to try to fix this. The problem is I seem unable to actually do it. Every attempt I've made so far has been terrible, and that's when I wasn't staring at the blank page. I even did the thing where you lean in towards the computer screen, as if the secrets are right there and my poor vision is all that's preventing me from accessing them. I have no idea why this is so hard. The character is revealing what's been secret for the entire book!
Well, I guess it's the pressure to make the reveal worth the wait, to not have people rolling their eyes when they find out why this character has been acting this way. I want it to be sympathetic to readers, to be relatable in some way.
Basically, I want the scene, not to mention the book, to be amazing. I just read a book that made me want to throw it across the room due to its lameness. I want to write a book that does the opposite of that. Yeah, I want you to throw the book AT YOURSELF. (Please wear protective eye gear.)
Thing I Don't Understand:
I am eating a salad right now and I don't understand why this ranch dressing tastes so awful. Yes, I did buy the cheapest one at the grocery store, but I also bought the cheapest croutons and they're magnificent.
BONUS thing I don't understand: Why is my vitamin pill so big? What if I were to die while choking on a vitamin? The very thing I'm taking to improve my health? Hmm, I could kill a character off that way, come to think of it....
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