A Post Devoted to What I Don't Understand

There are a lot of things in this country to be worried about, whether it's the fiscal cliff or the sad state of music on the radio, but it wasn't until Friday that I realized something was missing on my list: I now have to be concerned that some psychopath might decide to walk into my sister's elementary school and shoot up her classroom.

The tragedy in Newtown is proof that there is no longer anywhere in this country that you can go and not worry about being shot. People have been shot in hospitals and malls, churches and movie theaters, coffee shops and grocery store parking lots, high schools and now, elementary schools. I just don't understand why this keeps happening.

There's nothing new I can say here that someone hasn't more eloquently said. But having a little sister the same age as the children that died just eats at me. The loss of my little sister would be the loss of everything to me. Just thinking of it is unbearable. I was there when she was born seven years ago, 10:23 on a Tuesday morning. Since that moment she's changed my life completely, in all wonderful ways (though I would appreciate it if she could stop turning my queen size bed into the width of an armrest when she spends the night). I can't imagine life without her smiling face, without the pictures she draws me or the notes that she writes me in her giant handwriting.

That now 26 families have to somehow go on without their children, siblings, or parents is just heartbreaking. And I think at this point, after all the senseless killings we as a country have endured, that we have to make some major changes if we ever hope to go more than a few months without this occurring again.

I'm not naive enough to believe that stricter gun control would mean the end of these shootings, that all guns would magically disappear. The sad truth is when a person intends to do evil, he will find a way no matter the laws in place. But that doesn't mean we should do nothing and cross our fingers that this trend of massacres will end. Stricter gun laws will at the very least decrease the number of people who own guns and thus decrease the likelihood of this occurring again. Other countries, such as Australia, have banned assault weapons and gone more than a decade without a mass shooting. They instituted a buyback program for these weapons, something I don't really see happening here. But it worked.

Even more important than that, though, is the improvements necessary for our mental health system. In this article, I Am Adam Lanza's Mother, a woman talks about her son's illness that often leads to threats of violence. The part that most struck me was when a social worker told her that the only way that her son could get proper help is if he were to be charged with a crime. What sense does that make? That we have to label those with certain mental disorders as criminals in order to justify spending money on treating them?

There's a reason I became a writer, and it's not just because a hermit lifestyle suddenly seems preferable. I can create a town and make sure that everything functions normally, I can control who walks into 1st grade classrooms and who gets a hold of a gun. I can make things terrible for a character all the way through, but then give them the happy ending that everybody needs.

I can't do that for those who lost their children on Friday. I can't fix the plot hole that is our mental healthcare system and solve all the problems. No matter how much I want to.

All I can do is pray. Pray that our government forgets political parties and comes up with a plan. Pray that God be with these families and that town as they grieve and try to go on. Pray that people get the help they need before it's too late.

Pray that this never happens again.