They say that if you want to be a writer, the second most important thing for you to do, aside from writing all the time, is read. Read a lot. And I guess that's what I'm trying to do, though it's bringing up some issues for me.
Namely, how can I ever write something as good as what I've just read? There are books I read where I think "I could've written this." And I don't mean it as a compliment. Certain books just don't seem well written to me. I don't understand how they managed to get published and find a place in my local library.
I shouldn't be so snobby to my fellow writers. But I can't help it.
Then there are times where I read a paragraph and just have to stop so I can say holy shit to myself a few times and wonder if I can ever make that much sense about something in such an eloquent way.
I know it's not a competition. I don't have to write better than anyone else in order for people to want to read my book. I just have to write well, I have to create relatable characters and a story that grabs people, that means something to them, even if only in a small way. But when I read something great it's hard to believe that I'll ever be able to do for readers what these authors have done. It's hard to believe that people won't grab my book off a shelf and wonder to themselves "how did this girl get published?" That's assuming I ever even make it to a shelf.
But I guess I shouldn't be so hard on myself. The rejections will do that for me later. At least I'm writing a lot. At 180 pages now, hoping to reach 200 by tomorrow night. I should make it to 250 now I believe, before I have to start sticking things in. Or I may have the story go on longer than I originally planned. We'll see.
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